A Soul Longing for More

*This post was written in response to the Week One Blog Hop on Proverbs31's current Online Bible Study:  What Happens When Women Say Yes To God.  

Sitting at His feet in the quiet of the morning.  There is at least another hour before any of my children will stir. It takes a little bit for the blur in my recently opened eyes to pass, but when it does, I focus on that which brings direction to my path-- God's Word.  God uses it to guide and direct my day; each day becomes my life.  I leave my time with Him and His Word with a sense of purpose and an assurance of His power and presence.

And then there is prayer-- talking honestly, admitting my failures, asking for guidance, wisdom, provisions, and asking the same for those around me-- those whose needs of which I have learned.  It is in this time of conversation with my Lord that I can empty myself of every worry, fear, and problem and be filled with His love, joy, and peace.

Yet if I stop here, I often fail.  Bible reading and prayer are the foundation for my day, but the real power comes in turning to Him in the little moments throughout my day.  It's when I face a problem and whisper a prayer for His help.  It's when I face a decision and think back to God's Word to understand which direction I should go.  It's when I feel angry but choose a gentle answer rather than wrath.  It's when I feel weighted down with the problems around me, but instead of giving into feelings of depression, I choose to believe that God is using these trials to shape me into a better person because His Word tells me so.  It is when the night gets long with a sick child, and my mind begins to wonder how I will make it through the next day.  God reminds me that His grace is sufficient for me, and I believe Him.  When I say "yes" to God in these mundane moments, it is then that I find His grace, His strength, and His peace.

Choosing My Battles

Our summer break is almost over.  Vacation is past, gymnastics camps ended, and birthday parties are gone. Restlessness and too much together-time has set in with the kids.  And for mom here, I've let my cortisol levels soar too high with the stress of arguing siblings and weekly trips to the grocery store with all four children.

Last night, I heard the phrase commonly spouted by parents: "Choose your battles."  Usually, I would dismiss that advice thinking I already had that one covered.  After all, I am the mom who lets my four-year-old wear a tutu with every outfit if she takes a notion and who allows my 18-month-old to stand in a kitchen chair to eat his supper because he screams when I put him in the highchair.  

But this morning, while praying and asking God to change the attitude in our home to a positive one, I realized I was not actually choosing my battles.  Sure I was letting go of the things that I know really do not matter, but for behavior issues-- watch out.  I was trying to fight them all.  Every time a child told on a sibling, I was there.  Every time I witnessed disobedience, I addressed it.  Every bad attitude, I told them it had to stop.  I had gone from loving-my-time-with-my-children-mode into a dictator-joyless-mode.

During my quiet time, I resolved to do two things to get out of slump:

1.  Refuse to look at the bad.  I started a list of the good things my children were doing, and I decided not to deal with the bad unless it was absolutely necessary to intervene.  As the day went on, I found there really wasn't much bad to deal with, and my joy was returning.  While the kids ate their bedtime snack, I read the list of "good things" out loud for the whole family to hear.  The kids beamed and went to bed happy.

2.  Drown out the useless noise around me.  My mind quickly reaches overload when I cram a lot into itm and I tend to do that a lot.  There are always things I want to read, programs I want to watch on television, or music I want to listen to.  It doesn't take me long before I lose the ability to experience stillness.  Even in my quiet time with God, my mind will swirl when it's in overload mode, and I cannot "be still and know He is God." (Psalm 46:10).  I resolved today to put my iPod away, leave the television off, and enjoy my children. And that's exactly what I did.      

Thank You, Lord, for changing my burned-out attitude to one of fun and joy.